NkrsWiki:Cloned (Transcript)

This is a transcript of nkrs200's video Microsoft Sam Short: Cloned, which was released on October 17, 2014.

Transcript

• (intro plays, then an error appears saying it's the wrong intro)
• Sam: Windows has detected that this is the wrong intro. What do you want to do? Oh, shit. I am done for. Deploy the end credits.
• Whisper: Um, Sam, I hate to say this to you, but Bacon has stolen the end credits during the ending portion of season 6 episode 7.
• Sam: Well, let's end the video then.
• Whisper: Um, Sam, Bacon stole that as well.
• Sam: Dammit, Bacon. Stop stealing our stuff.
• (static)
• Male British voice: Now returning you to your regularly scheduled program...
• (another intro plays, then title card appears)
• Sam: Hey everyone. Right now, I am standing in front of a huge cloning machine that will allow me to be in two places at once. Mike, start the machine.
• Mike: It is at maximum power.
• Sam: Excellent. Now, viewers, be amazed, when I walk out of the cloning chamber after this cloning process finishes. (enters the cloning machine)
• (Scotty comes in and mistakes the plug for a baloney sandwich)
• Scotty: Hey, a baloney sandwich. I have been looking all over for you. (unplugs the cloning machine)
• (the cloning machine sparks then opens, to reveal that Sam has been cloned)
• Sam: Well, this is unexpected. Wait a second, I know exactly what to do right now. It is time for me to use my clones to do stuff that I am supposed to be doing today. (looks at his to-do list) That shouldn't be a problem. Alright, let's do this.
• (one hour later...)
• (Sam's clone takes out the trash)
• Sam: Windows has detected that you have failed to do your chores. What do you want to do? Correction: I am not doing them. My temporary clones are doing them.
• (meanwhile...)
• (Sam's clone runs with a basket of baloney sandwiches)
• Sam's clone: This is going out to the trash.
• (meanwhile...)
• Sam's clone: This computer is not running XP. This must be-- (bluescreen) God damn son of a (bleep) piece of (bleep) mother (bleep) asshole (bleep) (bleep) (bleep).
• (test card: THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE IN THE SCRIPT!)
• (static)
• (meanwhile...)
• Anna: Doctor, is there anything wrong with my vision?
• Sam: No, not at all. You are seeing perfectly fine. Now, that will be $500.
• (record scratch; Anna is shocked at Sam being the doctor so she gets out a gun)
• (outro plays)